the only living boy in new york.

california- where dreams are made

i haven’t written here for over 2 months. so much has changed and yet still so much is the same. i am falling deeper (or was this past week) into my depression. the last time i was this bad was three years ago, my freshman year spring semester. although i’m functioning (mostly), i’m avoiding my … Continue reading

It’s a grand time to be living

This weekend I’m struggling to keep up with finals and my coursework, my job at the mall, and my job at the campus newspaper. I’m dropping the ball everywhere and all I can manage to do is fuck everything up and make everyone’s life difficult. I don’t know how people manage to balance everything. I’m … Continue reading

“Am I free or am I tied up?”

My dog snores.

– Animal by Miike Snow I am tired. I feel a heaviness all around me. It’s days like these that I wish I could be happy & grateful for all that I have. But it’s especially difficult today. I am scared of moving forward. I move into a new place tomorrow. And I am terrified. … Continue reading

“He tore me apart because I really loved him.”

– Abducted by Cults #np: Mac Miller, Florence & The Machine, Cults Words come to my head at night. They stay a while and then float away. I feel like the only thing I have anymore are my thoughts. My mind feels like a safer place than the outside world. With (gasp!) people?! Sometimes it … Continue reading

“Lay me down. Let the only sound. Be the overflow”

“That’s what the water gave us So lay me down Let the only sound Be the overflow Pockets full of stones Lay me down Let the only sound Be the overflow” -What The Water Gave Me by Florence and the Machine #np: Florence & The Machine, Mac Miller, Coldplay I’ve been in it lately, thinking … Continue reading

Live Free

Not much for logical posts as of late, but thinking thoughts this morning and meditating has brought to my attention these gems of advice: 1) To truly live, you must learn to choose your life, the one you want and deal with the consequences as they come. 2)  There are actually NO rules for life. You … Continue reading

“So I sip his drink as I hold his gaze”

“When we erupt in to the room And hear the sub go boom A feeling easy to resume This right here I swear will end too soon So I sink in to the tune As I inhale the fume A feeling easy to resume This right here I swear will end to soon” – Katy … Continue reading

Musings on Age: Aging Gracefully

I was talking with my roommate, J the other day. “Sometimes I wish I was thirty already,” I told her. “Me too!” she had exclaimed. Colour me shocked. Who in their right mind actually wants to be… ‘old’? Growing up in our culture, society puts such an emphasis on age. Being young is the best … Continue reading

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks”

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks You’d better run, better run, outrun my gun All the other kids with the pumped up kicks You’d better run, better run, faster than my bullet” – Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People Rawr. Today was long. Worked at 9:30, had to take a break … Continue reading

“Let go, Life does get tough. No need to stress.”

“Where will you be for the revolution?” -REVOFEV by Kid Cudi Went shopping with my mother yesterday. We were looking for luggage that I can take on my trip to Italy. I’m really going to Italy. This is sinking in more and more each day :) #25days I can’t wait. I know it’s going to … Continue reading