the only living boy in new york.

california- where dreams are made

i haven’t written here for over 2 months. so much has changed and yet still so much is the same. i am falling deeper (or was this past week) into my depression. the last time i was this bad was three years ago, my freshman year spring semester. although i’m functioning (mostly), i’m avoiding my … Continue reading

The Clarity a Cup of Coffee Brings

It’s really crazy  just how much can change in a year. I turned 22 last Friday. I feel like just last year, I was 20 and somehow skipped being 21. Years keep crawling on. Every year I get older, it seems unreal that I’m still living. I feel more grown up now. My priorities are … Continue reading

Living in the Land of People

It’s easy to get caught up in the details of your own particular situation. And it’s even easier to comment on another’s situation when you don’t have the whole story. Who ever has the whole story though? Do you even know the whole story of what situation you’re in? How do you view the facts … Continue reading

“Way Back On The Radio Dial, The Fire Got Lit Inside A Bright-Eyed Child”

“Some dreams stay with you forever, Drag you around but bring you back to where you were Some dreams keep on gettin’ better, Gotta keep believin’ if you wanna know for sure Oh, I can hear em playin’ I can hear the ringin’ of a beat up ol’ guitar Oh, I can hear em singin’, … Continue reading

“You Suppose Robots Would Enjoy Listening To Music?”

“You suppose robots would enjoy listening to music? You figure that if robots are electronic creations they’d enjoy listening to electronic music. You think you could create a scientific synthetic. It would not only send our metal friends but would also be fascinating to human ears. You already have, it’s on the other side of … Continue reading

“Show Me Everything I Might Miss”

“We should take a walk someday Dream about what we could’ve been But I don’t wanna leave this place No faith in Brooklyn If I move out one day It will make me a better man But I don’t wanna leave this place No faith in Brooklyn” -No Faith In Brooklyn by Hoodie Allen Last … Continue reading

“Let’s Go Downtown and Watch the Modern Kids”

“Let’s go downtown and watch the modern kids Let’s go downtown and talk to the modern kids They will eat right out of your hand Using great big words that they don’t understand” – Rococo by Arcade Fire I am still trying to learn how to balance my schedule and figure out how to do … Continue reading

New Goals in Life; What Do I REALLY Want?

What do I want? This question has been haunting me lately. I am no longer focused on appearing like someone else to other people or doing things that make people think something about me. I am only interested in being authentic and truthful about who I am, my life and what I truly want out … Continue reading

“And Never Spend Your Money On A Necklace”

Keep On Dreaming

“I gotta fake ID and a check list It goes never meet a girl on Craig’s List And never spend your money on a necklace 3 square meals, homie, gotta have breakfast Real shit, she be payin’ for the date… … Imma do shit that just piss them off Say you never heard me it’s … Continue reading

“He tore me apart because I really loved him.”

– Abducted by Cults #np: Mac Miller, Florence & The Machine, Cults Words come to my head at night. They stay a while and then float away. I feel like the only thing I have anymore are my thoughts. My mind feels like a safer place than the outside world. With (gasp!) people?! Sometimes it … Continue reading