the only living boy in new york.

california- where dreams are made

i haven’t written here for over 2 months. so much has changed and yet still so much is the same. i am falling deeper (or was this past week) into my depression. the last time i was this bad was three years ago, my freshman year spring semester. although i’m functioning (mostly), i’m avoiding my … Continue reading

It’s a grand time to be living

This weekend I’m struggling to keep up with finals and my coursework, my job at the mall, and my job at the campus newspaper. I’m dropping the ball everywhere and all I can manage to do is fuck everything up and make everyone’s life difficult. I don’t know how people manage to balance everything. I’m … Continue reading

Let’s Dance All Night

I don’t know where this semester went. Where do any semesters go? Time flies by faster each year, although days are still as long as ever. Am I a better person after this semester? Is my life more like what I want it to be? Have I learned anything? I really wish the answer to … Continue reading

Reminiscence of a Car Crash(ed) and What’s Left After

I can’t really think that well right now; my head is still a bit shaken up right now. It’s hard to find the right words to explain how I’m feeling. Tonight was the first time I’ve been in a car accident. And I totaled my car. The front end, completely crumpled. I haven’t been able … Continue reading

The Clarity a Cup of Coffee Brings

It’s really crazy  just how much can change in a year. I turned 22 last Friday. I feel like just last year, I was 20 and somehow skipped being 21. Years keep crawling on. Every year I get older, it seems unreal that I’m still living. I feel more grown up now. My priorities are … Continue reading

Living in the Land of People

It’s easy to get caught up in the details of your own particular situation. And it’s even easier to comment on another’s situation when you don’t have the whole story. Who ever has the whole story though? Do you even know the whole story of what situation you’re in? How do you view the facts … Continue reading

New Goals in Life; What Do I REALLY Want?

What do I want? This question has been haunting me lately. I am no longer focused on appearing like someone else to other people or doing things that make people think something about me. I am only interested in being authentic and truthful about who I am, my life and what I truly want out … Continue reading

“And Never Spend Your Money On A Necklace”

Keep On Dreaming

“I gotta fake ID and a check list It goes never meet a girl on Craig’s List And never spend your money on a necklace 3 square meals, homie, gotta have breakfast Real shit, she be payin’ for the date… … Imma do shit that just piss them off Say you never heard me it’s … Continue reading

“He tore me apart because I really loved him.”

– Abducted by Cults #np: Mac Miller, Florence & The Machine, Cults Words come to my head at night. They stay a while and then float away. I feel like the only thing I have anymore are my thoughts. My mind feels like a safer place than the outside world. With (gasp!) people?! Sometimes it … Continue reading

“Lay me down. Let the only sound. Be the overflow”

“That’s what the water gave us So lay me down Let the only sound Be the overflow Pockets full of stones Lay me down Let the only sound Be the overflow” -What The Water Gave Me by Florence and the Machine #np: Florence & The Machine, Mac Miller, Coldplay I’ve been in it lately, thinking … Continue reading