like breathing was easy

After hanging out with a guy for a few weeks, I found myself in a relationship with him. Everything was basically perfect. We get each other so well, our weirdness matches so amazingly, and we both have a lot in common with our career ambitions and hobbies we like to pursue.

A week and a half after we became official, he left for a trip. After an unfortunate change of circumstance, and after only being official for two weeks, I found myself thrown into a long-distance relationship. I was warned it would be difficult. I thought I would be fine.

Turns out, it is difficult. Our relationship is now dependent on technology to communicate with one another. And when it all fails, it’s easy to feel more alone than ever. Actually, in a long-distance, it is quite easy to feel alone, even all the time. What we have now is only a fraction of what we used to have.

The physical presence is the most missed thing of a relationship. I miss the touch of his hands, holding them whenever I want. I miss the gaze of his eyes, the feel of his hair, and the softness of his skin. I miss hearing his heartbeat when we cuddle, and his spontaneous laugh. None of these things can ever be communicated through technology. Even the laugh over the phone isn’t his laugh; it’s a technological reproduction and transmission of vibrations. It’s never real. It never will be until I see him in person.

I don’t know exactly where I’m going with this post, but it hurts to be in a long-distance because the pain of missing and longing for something that can’t be is the most unexplainable and almost unbearable. I would not wish this on my worst enemy. It’s complete agony to want someone so bad, but not be able to see them.

Be grateful if your loved ones are near to you; you will never appreciate their presence as much as when you finally have to endure their absence.


One Response to “like breathing was easy”
  1. philip469 says:

    I feel you and going through something similar.

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