figure 8

With everything in my life that I’m messing up and keep messing up, I don’t know what to do anymore.

My depression has taken hold of my mind and body and getting rid of my critical thoughts seems to be impossible. My time management is completely off. I don’t know how to get my assignments done anymore as they each seem quite overwhelming. It’s like I forgot how to break things down into manageable bits and I have lost all confidence in myself to get it all done.

I’m losing myself faster than ever. I don’t know who I am anymore. I sleep more often than ever to avoid my waking life, my life that I can’t even live because I feel like I can’t do anything right. I am scared and terrified of everything. I’ve collapsed in on myself and I don’t know how to undo the damage I’ve caused myself. I’ve lost hope and my determination. I’ve lost direction in my life. And I desperately need to get my courage and clarity back.

I have started working out again which helps for a little bit but I inevitably wind up lost in my thoughts once again. I am making an appointment with a therapist at the mental health clinic on campus this week. And I will start meditating again.

I need to build my confidence and self esteem up again. And I need to remember to always trust myself. The most important thing I can do is to learn to take care of myself and to ask for help when I need it.

I hope if you can relate to this at all that you know you’re not alone in this. I know things will get better but I have to make them better for myself.

Just remember to keep on trying and never give up.


One Response to “figure 8”
  1. Sorry you’re struggling these days; it’s good to hear that you’re taking the right steps, though. You’re absolutely right: you — we — are not alone. And it really does get better.
    Hang in there!

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