Sweet like Cinnamon

It’s the beginning of the second week of school and I already have so much stuff to do. I have four assignments to shoot for our campus newspaper, along with five classes (2 are online), and work at H&M. I still don’t have a car and it takes forever to get everywhere I need to be. I have been studying for the past three hours at Caribou (which is unheard of, I’m a sbux kind of person), and I have read one chapter of a book, when I have 2 readings due in 15 minutes. I don’t know how to balance everything. I have no time for sleep and homework. I think my social life is going to disappear completely. I have a boy who likes me, although I don’t know how much I like him. I’m trying not to get disappointed and to stay busy and independent with my own life. Unless we’re hanging out, which doesn’t happen often, there’s no attention given, which I don’t know how I feel about. I realized the other day that I just like attention from guys, and not getting into the messy details of relationships. I keep things shallow so I don’t get hurt. He’s a good friend though, and I don’t want to lose him as one, nor do I want to hurt him if I hang out with other guys. I am not looking for a relationship, but I am open to it. I have been meditating for the courage to stay open to whatever comes and not shut down my emotions.
In other considerations, I need to work out more, but last week, the rec was completely packed with people. Starting later this week, tomorrow or Thursday, I will make time to work out. I miss it so much. I’ve been stressed with starting school again, and with being so busy, I barely eat during the day anymore. I’m running on coffee, alcohol (on the weekends), and little sleep.
I feel like I’m burning out already. But if I didn’t have all of these things to do, I’d go completely crazy. The only thing is that I wish I had a little more time to work on creative writing, and start an online clothing boutique.

Here’s to this crazy life we’re all trying to live in.
xoxo, Rococo


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