New Goals in Life; What Do I REALLY Want?

What do I want?

This question has been haunting me lately. I am no longer focused on appearing like someone else to other people or doing things that make people think something about me. I am only interested in being authentic and truthful about who I am, my life and what I truly want out of life. I’ve been sitting with this question, letting it stay and hang out for a bit. Not making judgments about what comes to mind, but being open to all possibilities. Not am I the insecure girl who wonders if I “deserve” the life I dream of, I have put aside childish thoughts and have grown into the realization that I am alive and I need to create my own life, not sit around and wonder whether I’m worth it or not. So this question has allowed me to be more honest with myself lately and I wish to detail here my new goals for my life.

The main things I wish to change about my life concern my: creative/professional career, my health and fitness, my finances, my social life and my living situation.

For my creative/professional career, I need to stop doubting myself and to write more. Write more fiction: poetry, short stories, novellas; blog posts and articles and hone my writing skills. I want to start a menswear blog. I’ve been wanting to start a fashion blog for a while, but I didn’t know which direction I wanted to take it in. I think doing menswear stories about cute guys is just what I would love to do. I love menswear for the fact that it’s a challenge to push boundaries and get away with it. I want to take on campus looks of menswear and write about my thoughts on trends and pieces I think are essential for a man’s wardrobe. For this, I need a blog name, a word press site, a new DSLR camera for on street photography & editorial shoots, and knowledge about the menswear industry which I could get from books, the internet and interviews. I would love if I could do this for a living and earn money from styling photo shoots and work with menswear brands to do campaigns. I would love to get my name out there with my writing and my photography. I want to create an online magazine, either a fashion one or a literary one or a combination of both would be really awesome. Also, this goes along with finding internships to do during the fall and spring semesters before I graduate. I need to earn experience by writing for publications about fashion and literature.

For my health and fitness, I am going to state right now that I am 5’5 (well, 5’4.5 if we’re being honest) and I currently weigh 146. (Last summer I was about 140 and after I came back from studying abroad in Italy, my weight crept up to 160 at the most). I have been going to the gym more often and I feel stronger. I work out on the elliptical and also run. My goal for the rest of the summer is about 15 pounds, so I can get down to 130 which is the weight I was in high school. I have increased my initial running time from about 3-7 minutes now to over 12 minutes and I am very proud of my work. I want to be able to run a half marathon which is 2 hours of continuous running. This means I need to buy new running shoes and increase my endurance. I also want to tone my legs, stomach and arms so that I am proud of my body. I want to eat a healthier diet than I do right now and become a vegan again. I’m a semi-vegan right now because I am a vegetarian and only occasionally eat eggs or cheese. I want to treat my body as a temple and respect it. I want to be in the best shape I’ve ever been in my life.

For my finances, I want to start a small business to do with fashion and my artwork. When I start my blog, I want to be able to use it professionally to gain more work. My goal is to earn over $5000 a month which will allow me to not only pay off my school loans, but also help me move to NY. I need to start believing in my work and create value for others in order to create more financial wealth in my life. I need to learn how to save money and not spend it each paycheck I earn.

For my social life, I would like to be a more positive influence with my friends and become closer with them. I want to be dependable and reliable for my friends to come to me with anything. I want to feel good about myself and meet new people and have fun in new situations and live my life to the fullest. I would also like to have a guy in my life that makes me feel 100% comfortable around and who I respect and admire. I do want to improve my romance, as I don’t have anything going on right now!

For my living situation, in one year I want to be preparing to move to New York City. I have been living in Minnesota my entire life and although Minneapolis is a great city to live in, I’m ready for something bigger, something more exciting and I want to try my hand at living in New York City with other ambitious people like myself. I have to start living in New York City by the end of 2013.

These are all of my goals that I am striving towards every day. I am putting them in writing to be held accountable and actually accomplish them. I can’t wait to make all of these come true.



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