“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks”

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You’d better run, better run, outrun my gun
All the other kids with the pumped up kicks
You’d better run, better run, faster than my bullet”
– Pumped Up Kicks by Foster The People

Rawr. Today was long.
Worked at 9:30, had to take a break from 10-10:30, so I went and got some starbucks :)
Got off at 1. Finally told my boss that I can’t work after my family reunion that I’m going to.
He was understanding.
I can’t wait for Italy!
#22days It’s coming so soon!

Had a coffee date with E.
It was so nice to catch up with her.
There’s been a lot that has happened this summer.
I think the best compliment that you can give someone is telling them that they seem happy.
As in they are happier now than they were before.
And I do have a lot to be happy about.
I’m more confident in myself and I’m finally understanding what I want to do with my life.
I could tell that E seemed happier too.
It’s a good mind frame to be in.

We talked about her boy stories and I told her about N.
Her advice, “Cut your losses now.” and she said since there’s a lot about him that I don’t like, I shouldn’t worry about it not working out. It was bad timing anyways with me going to Italy for the semester.

Everyone I’ve talked to about the situation with N and how he got upset I kissed another guy when we weren’t official has agreed: I didn’t do anything wrong and N was out of line to get mad at me like that.

E said he seemed too sensitive. And yeah, I’d agree with her. I think he expected too much too soon.
But, everything happens for a reason.
I am thankful for the experience as it showed me that I have a lot to keep working on myself.
And how I have a lot that I want to change about myself.
It’s provided me with more clarity and I am grateful for that.

I have to go home tomorrow to get a book and them I”m coming back to campus to go to a birthday dinner. I work Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday. There’s a party for someone’s 21st birthday on Friday that I’m going to with my new roommate, J.

After coffee with E, I went to the library to return some books & got three new ones: One Fifth Avenue, The Well, and The Death of Ivan Ilyich. Yeah, I know, I’m an addict. I have 12 books checked out from two different libraries right now.
What can I say?
Books make me happy!

I read part of the Bohemian Manifesto today. And I’m still extremely tired from this weekend.

As for N, the past two days I felt something shift within me. If he likes me or not doesn’t matter as much to me anymore. I’ve moved on. Officially. I don’t feel the need to text him or get texts from him. Hopefully, later on, we can just be friends, but for right now, I need distance and space.

I need my own life back is all.
I need to be more focused on my goals. On my dreams. On my ambitions.
I don’t see the need to be in a relationship now because I have no desire to get married anytime soon.
I want romance, but I want freedom, to be single, and to have fun.
I don’t want attachments.
I want to focus on myself and my career and being an inspiration to others.
That’s how I want to help people.
My dreams are more important than any guy will ever be.
Family life is not my focus right now. I don’t know if it will ever be.
But I want a career. And respect.
I want to make a difference in the world and leave a legacy.

All my thoughts are drifting away from me..
I need sleep.

P.S.. August is my favorite month of the year.
Something about those lazy, hot summer days.
The sun warms my skin and makes me feel alive.

I love My Life. My Truth. My Honesty.
And I love you as well.

xoxo,
Rococo

P.P.S.. I got a twitter! :)
Follow me @RococoHolloway

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