“Share with me the sun; You forget sometimes it’s yours”

“Share with me the sun
You forget sometimes it’s yours
Can’t you see you’re not the only one
The doors all lead outside
Feel it soak into your mind
Can’t you see you’re not the only one”
#np: Share With Me The Sun by Portugal. The Man

N won’t text me back.
And I lied before.
It’s not that I don’t want a relationship.
I do want one.
I might not be completely ready, but everything’s a learning experience, right?
I really like N.
And yes, I’m confessing this to the interweb.
I just wish we could hang out so I can tell him.
I’ve been enough of a pussy already.
I like N. And I want something more with him, like a real relationship.
That’s really all I want right now because that’s all that makes sense.
When did I turn into this girl?
Going gaga over a guy like this?
It’s different than how I am normally.
But, it’s because this summer has changed me.
I’m so much more aware of what I need to work on with myself.
And I understand so much more than I did a year ago.
I want things to work out with us.
I really really do.
I hope the universe hears me on this one.
I’ve never wanted something so badly.
And yet, patience is something I don’t have.
I suppose I’ll have to work on that still.

Got my passport back with my visa today!
The idea of me going to Italy is really coming true.
Went shopping with A.
Got a cute tank at Banana Republic :)
Going to wear it out tonight.
R is having his going away party in an hour.
It’s gonna be so much fun. (I hope.)
I actually want to see my old friends and catch up.
Not staying out too late tonight; I have work tomorrow.
I need to give them my two weeks’ notice.
I hope everything works out.
I love my life right now.

Tomorrow, I hope to actually talk to N
Or go on a bike ride
Or hang out with E
Or party with S
Or do something fun
Gahh, I wish I had a real life sometimes.

xoxo
Rococo

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