Underneath the Stars

So Monday I woke up sick and had a fever that day.
Slept most of the day.
Tuesday, felt better.
Wednesday, my interview went well & I went shopping with the roomie :)

And today, I feel like shit.

I don’t know if boy likes me or not.
Maybe he does, but it’s easier to believe he doesn’t.
Mostly because I don’t want to get hurt.

“Come on out and dance,
if you get the chance”
-KOL (Back Down South)

I don’t know. At all.

I hate the way I look.
ERG, let’s not go there right now. I need some sleep…

Okay, so after a nap, I still feel like shit, but my head is clearer.
Well, maybe.
I don’t know.

Not much makes sense anymore.
Why anything?
Why not?
I just get tired of trying.
Trying and failing and doing nothing.
I can’t even form words right now.
My sickness is getting to my head.
Infecting my bones to the last molecule.
I want to be a rapper/dj.
I want to be free.
I just want to be happy.
Slowly losing my mind.
I think it’s a movie and early bedtime kind of night.
I am sick and tired of being sick and tired.
It’s summer.
I want to go do things.
Have fun.
Have a life.
I only want money so I can quit worrying.
But money isn’t free.

My mind is playing tricks on me.
Or maybe it’s my eyes.
I swear they think it’s so funny
To see a girl like me fall for it

If they can do it, why can’t I?

Why can’t I?

No clarity for the fallen.
Lost to the sands of the mind awashed with sleep.

White girl awesome.


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